Always...

Ever think about those things you always do? You know what I mean. You always tell yourself you wont do them. You always tell everyone that you do it. So if we know that it annoys us, why do we do it?
For example, I always tell myself that i'm going to commit to something, like writing a blog, every day. And then it's been 3 days, and then you think it's been too long, 2 months later and all of a sudden you can't go back because you broke the promise to yourself. Why?
Why do we force ourselves to believe that we can do something we can't? Why don't we just take baby steps?
We set stupid unrealistic goals but why?! Does it make us a better person? Are we supposed to live up to our own expectations? I don't understand.

Can I tell you something?

What if I told you that you don't need to live up to expectations? What if I told you that no matter what you do, you're still loved. There's still a man who is as perfect as anyone ever was who chose to die so that you can live a full life knowing that you're perfect. Knowing that nothing can separate you from the love of God. How amazing is that?!

The Dream

Sometimes I begin to wonder about life, about my purpose to live it and my reason for being here. Sometimes I think about the plans I have for my own life and am blown away. I freak out as it is, I could never really understand why people say ‘If you knew God’s plan for you, you would freak out and stop following him’. I never really understood that at all because I always thought that it would be exciting and motivating, however realising that even my own dreams seem too big and I think too much about how I will achieve them and what steps I need to take to get there, I realise that if these are just my dreams, what more does God have planned for me?

I was telling a friend last night about what I wanted to do with my life and whilst trying to work out how to write it, I wrote down my dreams.

Dreams

- To be a teacher

- To travel

- To sing – secular and worship lead

- To own a recording studio

- To own a coffee shop

- To get married

- To have at least 4 kids

- To preach

Looking at the above I wrote how I would achieve this. Looking at how long just one of these would take, I was blown away at how little time I have to do all of this, I was scared. How much more does God have for me?! I’m absolutely mind blown. I don’t like it at all, however I figure that God knows best, right?

I don’t know. I don’t know how it will happen but it will. It has to.

I have a vision for my coffee shop, I do. It’s going to be different. It’s not just an ordinary coffee shop, it’s got a culture. This is the place that people like JK Rowling come to write books, to unleash their creative side. This is the place that people come on a Saturday night for a live show. This is the place where people meet people and make new friends. It’s a culture of love and of regularity. There is no exclusions, we are not exclusive. We are friendly.

It’s the kind of place that pays well and treats their staff well. It’s an aspiration to work here rather than a ‘job’. It’s the kind of place that is just family. All the time. We love each other and we do life together. We laugh together, we cry together, we celebrate together and we mourn together. It’s the kind of café that closes when it’s a staff members wedding. It’s a fun place full of random objects that keep people intrigued and amazed. It doesn’t open until 12 on a Sunday and it’s open until 10 every night. We’re dedicated to our staff and our customers. And it’s just a dream.

I think that’s my biggest dream at the moment, I can’t decide whether I want to study teaching or business first, but I cannot wait for this to become a reality.

Just writing this, the idea that I would study teaching earlier doesn’t seem that important to me, because I’m absolutely in love with the idea of my coffee shop. It’s in a beautiful secluded part of the Gold Coast, it has a stage for live entertainment, it has free wi-fi, it has a mini library where people can study or be inspired. My library does have Bibles, but it’s not a ‘christian’ café. Its just a place that people can feel at home. Where uni students come to make friends. We don’t care about the employees hair colour or how many tattoos you have, as long as they’re not racist nor do they have swearing. But you won’t be discriminated against, just cover it up. All we ask is that you love your job and do your best at it. There is a spirit of excellence, things are expected to be clean and of the highest quality.

Amazing!

Amazing amazing amazing day! Had an incredible day at college, had some amazing conversations with people i'm beginning to relate to and saw a famous person! Which automatically makes me famous, right? Or maybe i've been spending too much time around Karley.

I was blown away today thinking about how busy life is, and how important it is to have faith and to fully trust in God. Recently I found out I don't earn enough money to get a car loan, which absolutely sucks, but I decided that instead of being upset, which of course was my initial reaction, that I just have to remember that God will provide and all I need to do is trust in Him. Ps. Chris spoke on the weekend about how you can't praise God for being your provider unless you've given Him room to be the provider. I made a decision that God can have the burden of not having money, because now I don't have to! I love that! He is so much bigger and His brain is A LOT bigger than mine, so surely He will work it out.

Anyway, today was just a short blog. This is my blog and i'll write as much or as little at I would like. So bam.
It's time for bed now.
Seeya
x

Cheers to the freakin weekend

What an amazing weekend! Saturday consisted of a 10 hour shift, then onto my best friends 21^st party where I was blessed to be able to practice my professional photography skills as well as enjoy great food and amazing company! It got me thinking about how key relationships are so dependant on ourselves. There is no way that Brianna’s party would have been the same as it was had I not had the opportunity to socialise with amazing people, however if I had not been in relationship with the people that I was speaking to before the night, then there would have been no way the party was as amazing as it was! I find it funny how many people I work with that believe that there is no need to speak to people from work and refuse to socialise with people outside of the store, however I know for a fact that if you can’t make friends out of work, you’re probably not going to have many friends by the time you finish school/university. I spend at least 25 hours a week with these people, as if they’re not a huge part of my life, whether I like it or not. I also have met a lot of people over the years who would refuse to hang out with people who are not Christian or that don’t go to their church, however I’ve spoken to people that have been in relationship with these kinds of people, are hurt and offended by the way they’re treated if they are no longer part of their ‘church clique’. No wonder people hate Christians!

Anyway, off that note, Sunday was incredible! Ps. Chris Carmona from People Church, Chicago was in the house and I was absolutely blessed to hear from him a word in season and incredibly amazing message! Then we took a couple of the girls out for hot chocolates (which had maltesers in them!! It was amazing!) & then we went shopping. On a side note, I’d like to point out that pastels are my absolute favourite of all colours and I’m so flippin excited that it’s in fashion now! I loved hanging out with the girls and being able to bless them, even though it really wasn’t a big deal!

At night I was on kids which was amazing because I was blessed to speak to some of the kids I normally just yell at for being naughty, but instead I was able to sit down with them and have a conversation about life and how they are, and I could tell that it did as much in them as it did in me!

Anyways, i'm currently in college where I should be learning some stuff,
Talk soon,

Bye!

x

T.G.I.F

Friday night finally arrived! After a crazy week, Friday nights are probably my favourite. Basically it's the time where everything we've worked toward starts to be seen. All the hard work pays off on friday nights. Octane was amazing, i'm not sure exactly what it was about tonight, but I was blown away with it! There was so much gold in tonight! I spent the night not only with Octane, but continued with Amped, as you do. It was amazing fun.

Today I began to listen to a few of Christine Caine's messages. If you don't know who she is, you NEED to google her, because she's actually incredible. I'm blown away with her passion as well as her talent. Absolutely convicted to be a better person and she is possibly one of the best role models i've ever had, and i've known of her for a week. . . ha!

Today was one of those days where nothing happens the way you expected it to, but it still turned out absolutely incredibly! For starters, I started work at 4:30 as usual, however I didn't finish work until 12 as opposed to 10. I also planned on sleeping when I got home from work. That also didn't happen. I also planned on coming straight home after Octane, but that didn't happen either! But it was still an incredible day. I began to realise the amazing people that are in my life today and I think they're definitely the best people in the world, sorry, but if you don't know them, you've got no hope with amazing friends because I stole them all. I definitely learnt the importance of relationships today. Looking at the people in my life and realise that there is absolutely no way my life would be as fun, as eventful, as fruitful, as amazing as it is even right now as it would if I didn't have them. 

So, I got a phone call today from the bank and I was so excited, but my heart broke as soon as the lady said that I couldn't get a loan. You wouldn't even understand how much it hurt. I have been so excited for about a month to get a car, and then to find out that I then couldn't put me back into a slump of embarrassment and disappointment, but then I needed to get up on a stage in front of 9 kids and 6 leaders and tell them about how we need to trust and have faith in God. This was also about the point I went, 'well, I can't do anything about it now, I guess it is totally up to you', so we shall see how that goes!

So, when I was listening to beautiful Chris Caine, she was preaching and she finished her sermon with this poem which I thought was incredible;

A man fell in a pit and couldn't get out.

A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said:
"I FEEL for you down there!"

An OBJECTIVE person came along and said:
"It's logical that someone would fall down there."

A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came by and said:
"You only think you are in the pit."

A PHARISEE said:
"Only bad people would fall in a pit."

A MATHEMETICIAN
calculated HOW he fell in the pit.

A NEWS REPORTER
wanted the exclusive story on his pit.

A FUNDAMENTALIST said:
"You deserve your pit."

CONFUCIOUS said:
"If you would have listened to me, you would not have fallen into that pit."

BUDDHA said:
"Your pit is only a state of mind."

A REALIST said:
"That's a pit."

A SCIENTIST
calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.

A GEOLOGIST
told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.

AN EVOLUTIONIST said:
"You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle."In other words, "He is going to die in the pit, so he can't produce any pit-falling offspring."

The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked:
if he had a permit to dig the pit.

A PROFESSOR
gave him a lecture on the elementary principles of the pit.

An EVASIVE person came along
and avoided the subject of pits all together.

A SELF-PITYING person came along and said:
"You haven't seen anything till you've seen my pit."

A CHARISMATIC said:
"Just confess that you are not in the pit!"

An OPTIMIST said:
"Things could be worse."

A PESSIMIST said:
"Things are going to get worse."

JESUS, seeing the man
took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.

I LOVE this so much, because it's so true. People are so quick to judge and point out the facts, but nobody looks at the need. I love that! What are we looking at in peoples lives that is leaving our friends, families, colleagues, peers etc. in the pit? What is it that we just need to shut the heck up about and help them out? Because isn't that our job? To love and help each other? Because our job is definitely NOT to judge people!

I was mind blown by this! And on that note, i'm going to leave you for my bed,

Goodnight

Kirsty x

P.S. I did offering at Octane tonight. It was awful, but I think i'll write all about that tomorrow if I remember.

x

Same day, different time.

It's 10:42pm and I start work in 5.5 hours. Hooray! I'm currently laying in bed and reflecting on my day. I feel like I needed to write everything down, so here I am getting everything out of my mind.

Christine Caine - there isn't much to say about this woman except the fact that she's incredibly talented and amazing! She just blows my mind! I was watching her preach on YouTube before, she's contagious! She spoke for 2 minutes (well, the video was 2 minutes) about trusting and having faith in God and I wanted to go and tell everyone!

Then continued the day at a Q&A with Ps. Chris Carmona from People Chicago, and I just love him! I felt so blessed just being able to hear the things he was saying. I remember Him and I remember being the brat amped kid and I probably didn't listen to everything he used to say, because I was selfish, however I was engrossed by the things he was saying. Loved it!

Basement Downtown, or whatever it is we call it these days was incredible. I got to speak to people I don't usually talk to about things I don't usually talk about and I was loving the conversations. It gave me a whole new perspective on some things. I just was amazed. I loved it!

I had this thought about how you can tell when someone is passionate, because they can't stop talking about it & I was mind blown to think that it's ok to be passionate, because passion is contagious, and then Ps. Chris said the same thing. I could throw a bible at someones face and show them all the things God has done in history, or I could tell them the things that God is doing in my life! Which are a lot. But you'll hear about them soon I'm sure. It's definitely bed time.
Goodnight,
Kirsty x

July 19, 2012.

My name is Kirsty. I've had 18 years of life experience, and now I intend to take some of the things i've learnt and become the person i'm called to be. I 110 % know and understand that there is a God in Heaven who has a plan for my life, but don't worry, I don't plan on preaching to you. Basically I want to be someone with worth, with influence and someone with a gift to bless people. Not just through finance, but mainly through who I am. I started this blog with a thought that I could write about the things I learn about myself etc. But I kind of figured, why bother when I can just write how I feel and how my day went. This isn't a 'how-to' guide, because lets face it, I've got no clue 'how-to' be a better, smarter, kinder or more attractive person. I think it's something we all learn as we go along in life, right? Otherwise i've definitely missed out on some crucial life lessons.

As I mentioned earlier, i'm 18 years old. I was born in November of 1993 on the 29th day. I love to sing, I love kids, I love people. I have an extremely large heart for children involved in sex slavery, but even just for children that don't understand what it's like to be a kid. I know of so many people who were brought up in pain and suffering because people never told them that they can be anything, and that those crazy dreams are worth dreaming! I don't know what it is about kids, but it brings a tear to my eye when I see kids just being kids. When they do nice things for each other and when I realise that what we teach them is actually changing their lives and growing them into the people that they are called to be. There is definitely something powerful up and coming with the next generation. These kids are smarter and more aware of the amazing world around them and the limitless opportunities that they can possess. 

Anyway, as well as kids, I love to sing. I'm not amazing, but I love it! Singing just makes everything better. If you know me well enough, you'd know that when I 'sing' to people, I don't sing all that well. If you don't know me that well, you've probably seen or heard me sing 'well' on the odd occasion, but lets face it, there is nothing normal or beautiful about the way I sing to my friends. (Sorry guys). 

More random introduction stuff;
I live on the Gold Coast, I love tuna sushi. I've never been overseas but I want to go to the typical New York, London, Paris, Rome places that everyone goes to. I'm unique, but not that unique. I work at Maccas, my current dream car is a Yellow, Four door, Manual Getz, but one day I shall be rich and I'll have a chrysler :)
I love Stan Walker, I'd marry him if I could.
I love photography (but i'm not that great),
I'm the worst person for keeping my own secrets, but i'm good at keeping everyone elses
I am an attention hog - sorry
I love 'performing' but being myself on stage scares the absolute socks off of me
I have amazing friends
I have an amazing family
I have a tattoo - I want lots more!
And yeah. I can't really think of what else i'd like to say, but i'm sure as the days go on, more things will be learnt about the world of me.

Until next time,
Kirsty x